Looking Forward

Last week I wrote a post about looking back at 2011, reviewing many wonderful accomplishments, as well as taking a moment to do some self-back-slapping.  For me, it was a memorable year that had many achievements.  But not all of 2011 was stellar—I start this year with plenty of opportunities for improvement.

My 2012 to-do list shares many of the same daily expectations I hold myself accountable to while ensuring I maintain my triad of balance—the interconnected coexistence between the MIND, BODY, and SPIRT.

Let’s start with the MIND:

•      Read more, if possible (especially more diverse, undiscovered areas that I normally do not venture into).
•         Finish writing two books and self-publish them (both are almost done, just need some tweaking, polish, and editing. “God’s Will,” and “We Can Change the World…If We Wanted To.”).
•        Continue to create and produce more entertaining and relevant videos, start another website, with a goal of doubling my current success I have had with livelife365.
•         Continue to grow in my “day job,” strive to reach more people in whatever endeavor suits me best (in other words: keep plugging away, be thankful to be employed with a job that challenges my creative side while affording me the ability to earn a decent wage…).
•          Learn to organize better—I have lots of strengths as a human being, but being organized is not one of them.  I vow to continue to work on being better with all of the above.
•        Produce two more music videos and another original song (both already in the works, with the hope of publication by mid-year).
•         Be a better social networker—while I am not as fond of this practice as one would think, given the success and necessity of my websites and this genre, if you will, I need to be better to ensure said success.  And to grow even more!  I am working on it daily.
•          Get back to doing daily crosswords (my new desk calendar, by the way, is a daily ten-minute crossword puzzle…that should help).
•          Write more…again, if possible, given all of the above.  But one of my passions in life has always been writing.  And while I do write daily and have produced a plethora of wide-ranging results of that practice, I would still love to write even more.  It can be done, I just need to find the time and balance (see SPIRIT goals).

Next, the BODY:

•        Drop these excess travel pounds!  This is a major bone of contention for me, as I have always been in great shape and advocate the need for limited dietary intake.  I also know that a dozen (or more!) excess pounds can lead to so many detrimental physical ailments: heart disease; diabetes; cancer; gastrointestinal problems; and bone and muscle issues.
•          Maintain a better routine of exercise.  By that I mean, walking EVERYDAY!  And upping my thrice-weekly weight program with more reps and pounds.  Also keeping it going on weekends—these are the times that I tend to kick back.
•          Cut back on the carbs and add more protein.  As a vegetarian, I tend to consume more carbs than I’d like.  While I always strive to eat complex, high in fiber, carbs, I sometimes do not.  I vow to cut back on the empty carbohydrates, while concentrating on more complex, high fiber carbs.  And will add more fish into my once only vegetarian diet.  A good thing, in the healthy long run.
•          Sleep more!  I used to get by on six hours of sleep a night…not anymore.  I need to kick back in bed and close my eyes sooner rather than later.  Sleep deprivation will shorten one’s life as fast as poor diet and lack of exercise.  Don’t under estimate the necessity of adequate sleep.  I’m not going to.
•          Balance.  I need to spend more time with my wife, family, and friends versus staring at this computer screen.  While I love the work I do, I need to also find the balance in my days to spend less time working and more time enjoying.  I often advocate the need to find the time and balance in one’s life to do all that you need to do to be all that you need to be…but also you need to find the time to be just you.  Think about it.
•         Incorporate more diverse exercise programs, et al. into my weekly routine.  Like yoga, tai chi, and even Pilates…whatever works.  As we grow older, our bodies change and what once worked as an exercise regimen may no longer.  I am cool with discovering new ways to stay in shape.  Even Wei…whatever floats your boat and keeps that boat afloat.

Last, but not least, the SPIRIT:

•          Spend more time with my wife.  We have already started an every quarter day out of work to spend together.  Last month we spent a Friday away from the office, went out to breakfast, and then just hung out.  We also investigated local volunteer opportunities that we could work on.
•         Volunteer more.  While I pride myself in spending time helping others, I still can do lots more.  2012 I want to do even more than ever.  My wife and I have applied to several local charitable places that need support, like Meals on Wheels and Hospice Care.  We are in the process of setting up a regular volunteer schedule that will assist these places over the coming years.
•         Find more balance.  I have mentioned this earlier in this post, but repeat it here to underscore its importance.  While I love working at my full-time job and all of my blogs and websites, I understand the importance of balancing those vocations with the rest of my life.  Family and friends, working around the house, relaxation, or just kicking back and doing little other than watching some goofy television show are equally as important as earning a living and spreading the good word of livelife365.  One of my biggest opportunities of this year is to better balance my life.  All work and no play really did make Jack a dull boy.
•          Stretch my mind to understand others more.  While I consider myself a compassionate person, I sometimes overlook what motivates and makes other people do the things they do, and in turn, be so utterly different than what I feel they should be.  My desire to help them change, or just be better in many aspects of their lives, at times flusters me.  One of my spiritual goals this year it to be more open minded, forgive more, and stretch my mind to openly embrace more diverse attitudes and personas…while still vowing to share the programs and successes of livelife365 as best I can.
•         Practice more random acts of kindness.  It sounds simple and very obvious, but holding open the door for someone or reaching for an item from a tall self for a wheelchair-bond person used be the norm, the decent thing to do.  No matter how we arrived at this place in society, I still have no problem waving someone before me into traffic or holding the elevator door rather than frantically pressing the close button.  Kindness is a virtue, a compassionate necessity that makes us human beings what we are.
•         Meditate even more.  I take great spiritual joy from my daily zazen, every morning.  Yet my desire and my ability to add more time to my sittings often conflict.  This year I would love nothing more than to double my meditation times, daily.  I have no doubt that this will lead to nothing but good things: a more relaxed, complete, fulfilled and happy Mike Foster.

This is a pretty big list, but one that I am thrilled to have at.  What’s on your list of things to do in 2012?  

Resolutions and goals are a vital necessity for anyone who wants to change their lives for the better.  But as I always encourage, don’t only set goals at the start of a new year.  Set goals to better yourself and your life throughout the year.

Until next time…

peace,

Mike

Meditation and You

Around a year ago, while I was perusing used books at one of those thrift stores my wife loves and occasionally drags me to, I found a book that asserted the virtues of meditation, Zen meditation, to be more precise. I added it to the handful of tomes I was lucky enough to discover, all for the cost of less than a few gallons of gasoline, and toted them home with the same hopes I always greet new books: to add to my always burgeoning collection, with a vow to read them all, whenever I found the time, but especially those that I felt merited special consideration…those, of course, would be put in the front of my queue of books-that-must-be-read-at-once.

For some reason, the Zen book called to me. It was during a time in my life where I needed some change, something different to help me get to my next stage of being, from where I was (unrest and burnout at my current job, uptight and in need of relaxation from a nagging shoulder injury, and fatigue and exhaustion from too many long hours at this keyboard) to where I needed to be.

While I had often considered mediation as a form of relaxation, renewal, focus, and, if possible, enlightenment, I never really tried it. That is, until I read the aforementioned book about Zen and gave it a shot.

Several other books, and hundreds of hours sitting, later, I can now say that I am an experienced and fulfilled practitioner of meditation. I meditate as often as I can, sometimes even when I am not sitting. I have learned that I can meditate while walking. Really. Don’t believe me? Watch this:

WALKING AND TALKING WITH MIKE: MEDITATE WHILE YOU WALK



So, you may be asking yourself, how does one meditate? It’s not as difficult as you may think. Here are some simple tips to help get you started:

* sit with your legs crossed in a semi-comfortable position on the floor
* back straight, shoulders back, head slightly tilted downward
* take two deep breaths to relax yourself
* close your eyes half-way
* focus on nothing
* allow your mind to relax, be free
* count your breaths
* when an outside thought enters your mind, gently push it aside and focus on the moment
* try to be in the moment
* stay in the moment
* embrace whatever is occurring in the moment
* and continue to focus, embrace, live in the moment
* while gently acknowledging outside distractions
* and, again, pushing them aside
* and returning to the moment

I also produced this video that may help you get started:

HOW TO…MEDITATE



Meditating daily has helped me focus on the moment, the here and now, not only while sitting, but during my day-to-day activities. Zen masters call this true enlightenment: the ability to exist in the moment, while doing the simplest of tasks-- walking, eating, cooking, working, living life. That is what enlightenment is really about.

What began with the serendipitous discovery of one book in a thrift shop, has grown into a daily ritual that has helped change my life for the better. Meditation has added to my spiritual growth, which is an important focus of mine in my continued pursuit of managing my triade of balance. I highly suggest giving it a try.

Until next time…

peace,

Mike
livelife365.com

Through Death We Learn About Life

This past Saturday marked nineteen years since my father passed away. Nineteen years! I will never forget the haunting wail of that early morning telephone call from my brother, the ominous sensation tugging at my flesh as my fingers found the receiver and I knew that nothing good would come from my lifting it to my groggy head. My goodness, I had brown hair back then, and it filled the majority of my head! I was living in Southern California, in the midst of another bad marriage, juggling several vices that were on the threshold of dragging me down into a hole of depression and angst that would take me years to climb out of.

Nineteen years.

While the pain is no longer fresh, the grief not as insurmountable as it once seemed, the loss, the void my father’s passing left in me, is as substantial now as it was then. Sure, I can conjure up a good sob every once and a while, whenever the mood beckons and I feel the need to let go. But while way back in the day those bouts of sadness were often accompanied by fits of anger at my father not taking better care of himself, and then guilt, for not cutting my old man a break, I have grown from the experience, changed for the better.

Nineteen years.

You see, my father’s death, while still one of the most awful events that has ever affected me, changed my life. His death, in fact, could be said to have created livelife365. (So if you dislike this site, blame my dad, but beware, he has been known to make a special appearance every now and then and may just take some pleasure in haunting you!). And while I would give anything to have him back in my life again, enjoying his companionship and influence, watching him age as gracefully as my mother, I do not dwell on his death; not anymore. As I said, my father’s death changed my life.

REFLECTIONS ON DEATH...AND LIFE



My father was very human, meaning he had many flaws, like we all do. He was a heavy drinker, a lifelong smoker, someone who overindulged in more than a few meals, and often struggled to make ends meet. He died well before his time, in my mind at least, just midway into his fifties (only a few years older than I am). But he also instilled in me the self confidence and belief in myself that has helped to make me the man I am today. As a young boy I can still feel the power of my father’s motivational words, telling me that I could be anything I wanted to be…as long as I believed in myself.

But it was my father’s vices, more that his attributes, that propelled me to change my life for the better. Not long after he died, I took inventory of myself and did not like what I saw. I was overweight, boozing it up, smoking, depressed, in a bad marriage (another one), working at a job that I did not like, and, literally, wasting my time on earth. His death, at first, only made me worse—I actually started drinking more, if that was possible (yes, it was, by the way), and fell into a deeper depression.

And then something snapped inside me. It was the first Father’s Day after he died. I had hit all-time lows with my drinking, smoking, overeating, job performance; I was separated from my wife, living in a one-room apartment, seeing a therapist that wasn’t helping.

Somehow I found an inner strength that had always been there, just buried through years and years of confusion and abuse. I figured out how to stop drinking, cold turkey, with only my determination and desire (and the memory of my father) to guide me. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started exercising. I picked up a book, then another, and another, beginning my autodidactic journey of knowledge that I am still addicted to. I learned about nutrition and addiction, overcoming grief and understanding self. And I read tons of fiction, too…just because I loved it! Why? Because when I stopped drinking myself to sleep each night, I suddenly had all this time on my hands, all this extra energy, and it was like I was a new person, a better person.

I changed my life through my dad’s death.

Nineteen years.

There have been plenty of ups and downs throughout those nineteen years, several other lifestyle changes and challenges. But some things have never changed, and those are my thoughts on the importance of life. Not wasting your life. Not allowing anything to get in the way of doing all that you want and have to do with the precious time we have on earth.

THE PARADOX OF LIFE



But also understanding that life is life. It can be as cruel and uncertain as it is wondrous and rewarding. It is up to each of us to take what we can from it, while never taking it for granted or expecting from it anything that is not earned through sweat and tears and compassion and love.

My dad died nineteen years ago this past week and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And the best. The lessons he taught me while alive, while valuable and influential, were nothing compared to what he taught me through his death.

Rest in peace, Dad. I love you.

Until next time…


peace,


Mike
livelife365.com

Find Your Self

I recently started meditating, counting my breath, sitting in a quiet room and trying not to think about anything. And you know something? It’s not as easy as it sounds. In fact, you try it. Try sitting still, with your legs folded over each other, your eyes half-closed and unfocused, willing your mind to banish any outside thoughts from entering it. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

You probably discovered very quickly that thoughts, distractions and outside interferences overwhelm your ability to focus, to render your mind a blank slate, to meditate on nothing. And that’s okay, I warned you that it was challenging, maybe even impossible. But that’s not the point of why I meditate, why I sit in a room by myself and try to focus on nothing. I do so to find self. And I have discovered, through trial and error, research and reading, that to find self you have to first lose self.

Huh?

“Huh?” is right. But it’s a good kind of huh, one that makes you think, makes you take note, makes you intrigued, I hope. Makes you want to read on. Or, better yet, watch:

FINDING SELF BY LOSING SELF



I often talk about the TRIAD OF BALANCE, what I refer to as the continuous process of maintaining the harmonic balance between the mind, body, and spirit. I have found that when I have all three of these essentials working and in harmony with one another, then I am at my strongest and happiest, enjoying the most effective way of living my life to its fullest. If one of my big three is out of whack, but the other two are still strong, while I may feel a bit off and not my complete self, I can still do most of what I need to do…only not all of what I want to do to be all that I need to be. That is why finding that balance, working on the mind, body, and spirit all the time, is one of the main focuses in my life, this blog, and my video site.

So to strengthen my spiritual side, after working, of course, on my intellectual and physical areas, I decided I needed to lose self first…to find self later.

Okay, Mike, how does one lose self?

Glad you asked. Meditation is a good start. Let’s go back to trying to not allow any thoughts to invade your mind while you sit still with your eyes half-closed. Even though this is a difficult task, it is possible…if you focus on everything BUT your own thoughts while doing it.


Ummm, you lost me.

Got back to your quiet place, sit, focus, and try not to think. Only this time, if a thought tries to weasel its way into your mind, just gently push it aside. Then, while trying not to let YOUR thoughts back in, allow your mind the freedom to let everything else in.

Huh?

Hold on, I’m getting there. Notice your surroundings. The sound of the clock on the wall, the wind rustling the leaves or tinkling your wind chimes. A car passing by. Your refrigerator rumbling into life. Everything else but YOUR thoughts. Make sense?


Kind of. But what’s the point?

The point is, by allowing the outside world in, while trying to eliminate your internal thoughts, you have, in a small way, lost your self. And this, in a larger sense, helps you find your self.

Finding self goes a long way toward finding your spirituality. And that helps balance your triad.

Hey, by the way, how did you maintain your triad of balance while you were on vacation last month?

Funny you should ask.

HOW TO…MAINTAIN YOUR TRIAD OF BALANCE WHILE ON VACATION


Until next time…

peace,

Mike

Find Your Spirituality

When we talk about spirituality, most people automatically think of faith, their high power, their feelings about their god of choice. While I find all of that very spiritual, I feel that spiritually is so much more; it has to be. Why? Because to be in total harmonious balance, to be a complete human being, we have to be physically fit and healthy, mentally strong and focused, and spiritually sound. To limit one’s spiritual health to just having faith, higher powers, and communal worship is akin to running ten miles a day then smoking a pack of cigarettes--something’s missing.

I am constantly searching for that inner peace, that tranquil happiness, that meditative state that I feel only total spirituality can give us. Again, going to a place of worship every week, celebrating with like people, and practicing one’s faith is a good thing…I just feel we have to do more to be more.

For me, finding one’s spirituality is a daily activity, just as working on my mind and body, improving my triad of balance is. Some of the things that help me find my spirituality can be found in this video:

Find Your Spirituality



For those of you who prefer the written word:

Ten Ways To Find Your Spirituality

1. Take A Walk In The Wilderness. For me, there’s nothing better than getting out and communing with nature, away from the noises and distractions of the busy world (and your busy life). Find a tranquil spot that you can share with the birds and squirrels and you will find yourself.

2. Exercise The Mind And Body. To achieve balance in my life, I need for my mind and body and spirit to be aligned. What better way to strengthen one than by working on the others. Working up a sweat, for me, is a natural spiritual high; as is working a crossword puzzle. Work the mind and body, and the spirit will come around.

3. Reach Out And Touch Someone. When was the last time you received a hug? Or initiated one? Hopefully it was as recently as today. Physical contact with another human being (or even a dog or cat, to a lesser extent) is not only spiritually uplifting, but an essential necessity for happiness and spiritual wholeness.

4. Be Kind. One of my favorite adages is: Do onto others as you would want them to do onto you. Good vibes are contagious. What goes around comes around. Spread joy and you will be joyous. A smile goes a lot farther than a snarl. Random acts of kindness should be second nature for us all. Think about it.

5. Live In The Moment. I am a planner, a multitasker, a busy guy with lots of irons in the fire. I often have to force myself to slow down, take a breath, stop and enjoy what is happening in the here and now, and not what needs to be done in the then and when. Enjoy the ride, the process, the journey…the moment.

6. Keep Busy. An idle mind is the devil’s playground. While it is good to live in the moment, it is also very good to have lots to do. That doesn’t mean to never chill out, take a vacation or relax. It just means to have some hobbies, a few vocations, careers, goals, things to do. Every day, as much as your schedule permits. The more the merrier, as long as they are positive endeavors that add to your personal resume as a complete, happy, fulfilled person.

7. Give Of Yourself. When I help someone less fortunate than myself it makes me feel good--and it should! There’s nothing wrong with feeling good when you’ve done a good deed. Just don’t make that the main motivation for doing it. Do it because to not do it would be as unnatural as not eating, or bathing.

8. Hang Up The Phone! Living with all of the amazing innovations in this technological age is something I never would have dreamed of twenty years ago. But too much of a good thing can turn into a bad thing. I spend way too many hours in front of my computer out of the necessity of having to earn a living and passion for this website, but I shut it off as often as I can. You should too. Toss the cell, pull the plug on that ipod, stop texting, switch the TV off, and find a quiet spot to reflect, think, meditate…live. You will be happy you did.

9. Keep The Faith. Believe in yourself as much as your higher power. Go to your place of worship and sing the praises of your faith. Share your feelings with those like-minded people and your spirits will soar. No matter what floats your boat or makes you happy, faith is a good thing; it is the foundation of spirituality.

10. Stay Positive. These days the news, at times, can bring you down, test your spirit, your happiness. But the good thing is: we can choose to be happy, to be positive. Why would anyone choose otherwise? Even when times seem darkest, when life is at its worst, opting to be positive, to see the glass as half full, is still a personal choice. Choose to be positive and good things will not only follow, but it will be one giant step toward finding your spirituality.

Is Your Glass Half Full?



These were just a few of the many activities and practices I follow as I constantly work at improving my spirituality. I hope some of them work for you. I would love for you to share some of yours with me.

Until next time…

peace,

Mike