Sunday, May 22, 2011

Building Self-Confidence

What is confidence?  I checked out the definition and one of the reoccurring words used to describe confidence was “belief.”  Think about that.  What is belief but a conviction of one’s ideals?  You can even toss some faith into the mix.

How does one go about improving their self-confidence?  I’m, for the most part, a very self-confident person.  Hey, if I wasn’t then I bet there would be a good chance that no one would bother to watch any of my self-help videos, or read this blog.  But would you believe that, at times, I question my own self-confidence?  You bet I do!

The key to success is not in the questioning of one’s belief or confidence, but in the understanding that it is okay to do so.  And then know what it takes to build that confidence back.


One of the things I’ve practiced over the years is what I call Life Writing.  Basically this a version of goal setting, or writing down what I’d like to achieve over the course of a few weeks, months, and even years.  A few years ago I was in a rut with my career—I worked at home, telecommuting (which was a good gig for awhile), but only using a fraction of my experience.  I decided that I wanted to head back into the office, pursue a path that would eventually lead me back into managing people, rather than sitting at a desk at home banging on a keyboard by myself.  I literally wrote down what I needed to do to attain this goal, how I was to go about it, what short, mid, and long-terms goals I needed reach in order to succeed.  Now, less than 18 months later, I have moved up two levels into management, successfully realizing what I only dreamed (and wrote) about.  You can too!


We all have had some modicum of success in our lives, right?  Come on, close your eyes and let your imagination roam—see it now?  Of course you do.  Problem with most folks is they tend to remember to failures more than their successes.  Hey, we’re human!  Whenever I feel my confidence waning, I force my mind to remember a time when I was very successful, encouraging those images and sensations to the forefront of my being, and soon I am basking in my own personal love fest.  This is the time to toss the ego out the door.  There is nothing wrong with recalling past success to remind yourself that you not only can do the task before you, but HAVE done it, or something similar, many times over.


Practice may not make perfect, but it sure goes a long way toward making you successful.  Sweat equity overcomes myriad other weaknesses.  The opposite of success is failure, but failing is not a bad thing.  Through failure you learn, get important feedback, and improve.  But you have to try and fail first, to be successful, leading to that all important self-confidence.  The best athletes are not always those blessed with the best physical gifts.  Often, they are the ones who work harder, practice longer, and want it more than the other person.  Hard work never hurt anyone; in fact, it just may be the key to improving your confidence.


There’s a fine line between being overconfident and arrogant—believe me, I’ve walked that tightrope all my life.  But I’d rather have too much confidence than too little.  My father taught me at a very young age the power of motivation, of positive thinking, of believing that I could do just about anything I put my mind to.  And, being young and one who looked up to my old man, I believed him.  I’ve taken that belief in myself with me throughout my life, a life, by the way, filled with as much failure as success.  Don’t wait for someone else to believe in you, believe in yourself and success may be right around the corner.

Building self-confidence will not happen overnight—hey, most overnight successes struggled years and years before reaching the top.  But it is can be easier than you ever imagined.  All you have to do is See, Relive, Practice, and Believe.

Until next time…




kRiZcPEc said...

thanks for sharing, always a good read. :)

Harry @ GoalsOnTrack said...

Great advice, needed it today.

Susan Blake said...

Hi Mike! You're so right - hey if we don't believe in ourselves, how can we think anyone else will? There have been a few times when I was a bit short on self-confidence but I told myself to live "as if" I had already what it was I wanted. Amazingly that works too!

T Mobiles said...

This has been a so interesting read, would love to read more here....

STD Information said...

Building self confidence is very important because it help you make and achieve your objectives. It will also add your self-esteem.

Barkha Dhar said...

Hi Mike,
Thanks for sharing. Nice post.