Beware of Rogue Pretzels

The other day, while reclining atop a hotel room bed, reading a magazine, I was attacked by a rogue pretzel. What, you may be asking yourself, was I doing eating pretzels on a hotel room bed? Well, I was attempting to embrace and enjoy a rare respite from the madness otherwise known as “my life,” that’s what. Happily trying to catch up on two month’s worth of magazines, giddily avoiding my laptop, while shamelessly engaging in a rare caloric activity—namely shoveling empty calories of fun into my normally dietary-rigid mouth.

Perhaps that had something to do with this recalcitrant pretzel’s sneak attack—my rustiness in the simple art of consuming snack foods. You see, I am a total health nut freak (recently I was slightly taken aback by a comment left on one of my posts that described me as a “health nut,” until I sat back and thought about that word and realized, without a doubt, that, hey, I am a health nut! And that’s a good thing). I rarely allow myself the pleasure of consuming snacks (like pretzels or potato chips—a HUGE snacking vice for me, by the way). But on occasion, and this was one of those (being on vacation), I cut myself a break and indulge in some salty treat…and it ended up not biting me in the backside, but stabbing me in the mouth.

Here’s what happened: I was methodically cramming pretzel after pretzel into my seemingly insatiable maw, stick pretzels (my favorites are Snyder’s), you know the kind I mean, when one snapped in half, flipped up on to one end, and impaled itself into the roof of my mouth. Okay, maybe not impaled, but definitely jabbed, gouged, stabbed, shived, bayoneted, knifed, poked—name your bloody word! Because there was blood, lots of blood!

Needless to say, the elation of my pretzel pig-out was immediately and sadly cut short—as if the God of Nutrition had decided that he had seen enough, and reached his hand into my masticating mouth and manipulated a half-chewed pretzel into attention and to use as a weapon, thus putting an end to this empty-caloric nonsense.

Tossing the offending junk food bag into the corner of the hotel room, I hurried to the bathroom sink and rinsed and relieved my mouth of blood and all starchy remnants. I probed and stuffed balls of moistened tissue into my throbbing mouth until, after almost an hour’s battle, the bleeding subsided, leaving me with a very sore palate, and zero desire to indulge in any salty, crunchy foods for the rest of this decade.

This harrowing brush with death (okay, maybe not my death, but at least the death of desire for a pretzel, once one of my few remaining guilty pleasures) left me pondering my lot in life, and reminded me of a similar incident, years ago, that involved our infamous lame duck resident of the White House. You remember, right? While eating pretzels and watching football on TV, good old George W. fainted and fell face first into oval office carpeting. Left with a bruised cheek and ego, he joked about it later, saying, “If my mother is listening, mother, I should have listened to you: Always chew your pretzels before you swallow.”

Wow, me and the Prez. Some may be thinking: it couldn't have happened to two nicer guys…or something along those lines.

Better yet, the lesson I learned from all this is one I have been shouting from the rooftops for years and years, and that is:

JUNK FOOD KILLS!

…or at least attacks and maims.

As always, you can enjoy my variety of humor, music, self-help, how-to, inspirational, and personal development videos at my website, livelife365.com.

Here's a new, very short one that may tickle your funny bone. Enjoy!


Until next time…

peace,

Mike

Our Issue This Sunday: Bye Tim

Today I'm adding a new feature I call Guest Blog. It's an effort to allow others to take over the virtual mic (not Mike) and deliver a message to the community I'm working to be a part of. The inaugural post comes from my good friend Eric of Multi Media Information. He's played an important role in the development of my livelife365.com website: editing text, helping me with research, creating and refining digital imagery, writing and tweaking code — tweaking just about everything, or at least wanting to. He's not an altogether bad sort, so I'm giving him the floor for a few minutes.

Our Issue This Sunday: Bye Tim


"Did ya hear the news? Tim Russert died." I was shocked. "You're kidding. You're serious?"

Like so much — too much — that is valuable, even irreplaceable, in life, I took Tim Russert for granted. Now I can appreciate that when I went to bed Saturday nights, I typically had one overriding concern: would I be able to arrange my Sunday morning schedule to allow me to watch Meet the Press on the local NBC affiliate? In recent years, there was a replay available on cable, and transcripts and podcasts online. But I was often thirsty for the event, sometimes very much so. I didn't want to let a day or even an hour go by without having the interviews Russert delivered as part of my information package, the material I could use to understand what was going on in the world, anticipate what others would be thinking, and promote my political views.

Barrack Obama appeared on the show in early May, two days before the crucial Indiana and North Carolina primaries. Russert grilled him relentlessly about Reverend Jeremiah Wright, spending, it seemed, the first half-hour pressing for answers regarding the controversial clergyman. I was mildly offended, a bit angry that the candidate I support with great enthusiasm was being subjected to this rigorous interrogation. But I soon realized that nothing could have been more timely and effective at clearing the air, blowing away the smoke generated by what I saw as unwarranted attacks on the senator's character and judgement. He had been cleansed of the mud thrown at him by partisan smearmongers. He had passed the Russert Test; no one could say he hadn't answered the tough questions. In fact, I was quite proud of the calm, patient, understanding demeanor Obama exhibited during the process.

I feel a sense of loss today, one I know I share with many others. And I expect I'll continue to feel that loss for a some time, every Sunday morning when the values I support with such passion — truth, fairness, decency, integrity — no longer have the champion Tim Russert was for their advancement, there in the trenches, fighting for what is best about America.

"Pick One" Press Release

I am proud to share with you my recent press release for my music video, "Pick One." Read it here or visit Myprgenie.com (there you get photos). Enjoy!


We Must "Pick One"! Who? Hillary Obama! New Music Video Just Released


Release Date May 06, 2008


Disclaimer
If you have any questions regarding information in these press releases please contact the company listed in the press release. Please do not contact MyPRGenie Inc. We will be unable to assist you with your inquiry. MyPRGenie Inc. disclaims any content contained in these releases. Our complete disclaimer appears here.


-->CHICO, CA May 6, 2008
If you can't decide on a candidate in this year's presidential election, then vote for Hillary Obama. Who? Watch "Pick One (the music video)" and find out.

Mike Foster, creator of livelife365.com, has just released his latest studio recording, lampooning the too-close-to-call contest for the Democratic nomination between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. A spirited mix of Americana, Country, and County Rock, "Pick One" is a toe-tapping tune you'll be humming all day, while the lyrics have you nodding in agreement. Foster's suggested solution of Hillary Obama as the candidate, revealed at the end of the video, is not to be missed.Inspired by his interest in two exceptional and, in obvious ways, unprecedented candidacies, Mike "wanted to write a song that would not only entertain and make you laugh a little, but also call attention to this remarkable electoral season. I started playing around with the names and went from there." The enjoyment he finds in performing, especially singing and playing guitar, shines through in this well-produced music video that could well have America singing along with its bouncy melody and catchy lyrics.The production of a thought-provoking parody of the 2008 political scene is only one example of Foster's work found at livelife365.com, a video-driven website dedicated to healthy living, personal development, and entertainment. With a background as a writer and stage actor, and clearly possessing an eye and ear attuned to what is happening in the world, he shows considerable promise as a singer/songwriter and videographer. His efforts include an interesting collection of short films related to a wide variety of topics, ranging from nutritional and dietary advice to motivational and self-improvement tips, from humorous vignettes and observations to sober reflections on the sometimes painful lessons he's learned in life. You can even find information on sports, current events, and hobbies like book collecting. His major focus is on maintaining a careful balance between and within your physical, psychological, and spiritual dimensions.

Watch the "Pick One" video at:www.livelife365.com/ or www.youtube.com/livelife365
Listen to the MP3 at: www.soundclick.com/livelife365

Tags:elections, hillary, obama, clinton, barack, primaries, mccain, bush, presidential, music, music video, funny video, democratic elections, republican primaries, livelife365.com

Isn't it Ironic?

What is irony and why am I blogging about it? Here's one definition:

Irony is a literary or rhetorical device, in which there is an incongruity or discordance between what a speaker or a writer says; and what he or she means, or is generally understood.
In modern usage it can also refer to particularly striking examples of incongruities observed in everyday life between what was intended or said and what actually happened.

Let me give you the short version, or at least the version that applies to me and this blog entry. In case you haven't noticed, and there is a very good chance that you (and 99.9999% of the rest of the free world) haven't, I recently recorded, and posted on every video site imaginable, a humorous political song called "Pick One." It is a lampoon about the tug-o-war of a primary race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, with a little Bush and McCain tossed in for balance. While it has received positive reviews and the feedback has been very encouraging, the amount of hits on all of the aforementioned sites has not been what I had imagined. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's too long, or the music is not every one's taste. Or maybe it is just not the type of entertainment that is successful on a broad spectrum. This is, after all, a country that finds shows like "Dancing with the Stars" and "American Idol" entertaining, and amazingly popular. Now, I'm not dogging (too much) these types of shows, just stating that they are not my cup of (green) tea. And maybe "Pick One" is not theirs.

Now, I have far from given up on "Pick One," especially with the promise of a summer filled with this nip and tuck race between Hillary and Obama. And I am still promoting my video with gusto, but my creative spirit must go on. So I make more videos, write other songs, and post them every few days. One video I recently posted is the first of several I have planned for a funny "How-To" series, called: "How to...Get Slapped by a Woman." It is funny in a wow-look-at-that-guy-getting-smacked way. And it is blessedly short (0:16). It also took almost no time to create, and definitely cost next to nothing. Here comes the ironic part...it has gotten almost as much attention on Funny of Die (a comedy video-sharing website, for those of you unfamiliar. Check it out, by the way, it is fantastic!) as "Pick One" has on all those other sites. More ironic: the slap vid has only been available for your viewing and guffawing pleasure for a few days, while "Pick One" is crawling toward the end of its second week.

My point, and I do have one, is this: Isn't that ironic? Or just fickle? Or eye-opening? Or...(fill in the blank). "Pick One" took weeks to make, cost a few bucks for studio time and video editing, and the end result is a polished product. "Slap Mike" (I'm paraphrasing here, folks), by comparison was whipped up one Sunday afternoon, filmed, edited, and popped on my website by that same night. Ironic? More like: bizarre. Or funny.

The bottom line is my videos are being watched, which helps promote my website, which is why I create a wide variety of videos in the first place. My goals have not changed, they still remain: to share information with as many people as possible; to help others; to entertain. And the thing that I must remember is the viewing audience cares not a whit about the cost or time it takes to produce a video, only that it is something that they want to watch, enjoy, and, hopefully, share.

Think about it.

peace,

Mike

View "How To...Get Slapped by a Woman" at livelife365.com or at bottom of this page. Enjoy!

Pick One, the lyrics.

Okay, by now I am sure some of you are tired of my shameless self-promotion for my latest music video, "Pick One." What's that? Some of you are still unaware? Then this short post should help clear a few things up. Like, what the song is about. And why it is important. And even though it can make you laugh (at least, I hope it does), it is also intended to make you think a little too. Parody. Satire. We often laugh at the things that frighten us the most, or bother, confuse, or annoy us. Like this primary season. Like the fact that the Democrats have two amazing candidates, yet still are lagging behind McCain in some head-to-head polls. Like for those who really want a change in Washington, the fear that they will get another heaping helping of the same-old-thing is gut-wrenching. But is it funny? Yes. If we cannot laugh at ourselves or at the bizarre or the craziness of this season's amazing campaign for president, then I offer you this little tidbit of advice: take a chill pill, dude, and watch "Pick One." You will giggle and ponder, tap your toes while clenching your teeth, cringe and grin all at the same time.



Here are the lyrics:

One is black
One is white
No matter which one you ask
They both think they're right
But pick one

One is a guy
And one is a girl
They both have in mind
That they're gonna change the world
But just pick one

Well, Barack Obama
What's with all the drama
Hillary Clinton
What are you thinking
Just Pick One

I said, pick one
Select One
Then elect one
Then forget one

One is for change
And the other is for...change too
One says, "Yes we can."
And one says, "Yes we will!"

Come on, just pick
Select one
Then elect one
Then neglect one

Well, they both think that George Bush is wrong
And we've been in Iraq too long
They sound the same on the economy
Universal health and global warming

Just pick one
Select one
Then elect one
Then forget one

Well, they both agree about McCain
He could be a royal pain
But if one of them does not back down
Then none of them are gonna be around
So pick one

(repeat chorus)

And then lots of mixing and mismatched names, like:
Hillary Obamamamamamamamamamamamaaaaa....(watch the video to see what I'm talking about)...Barackmccainacainacainacainacain...

Barack Obama Hillary Clinton John McCain

Hillary Obamabamabama!

Then more shameless plugs, like, for "Pick One" merchandise, available at livelife365.com

peace,
Mike

Pick One (the music video)

Pick One, huh? Not two or three? What is this guy talking about, you say? How about one of the most exciting presidential races in recent memory. How about having not one, but two (and maybe even three) very qualified and electable candidates? How about, for the first time in the history of this great nation, having a person of color or one who is not a man as the Democratic nominee? Add to that a war hero who is respected by both parties? Pick One? Now are you starting to see what I'm getting at?

A few months ago I had an idea for a song parody about this year's close, and often turbulent, elections. I sat down with my guitar and started plucking about, playing with some lyrics that had been swimming around inside my brain, trying to get those all important key words and phrases necessary to make the song work. What I came up with was a song called "Pick One." The version I originally recorded on video and posted was okay, but not complete. In fact, I titled it, "Pick One (the almost finished version)." I knew that I had inside me a better, more polished version, and I set about attempting to make that happen. But I decided that I would need some help.

Enter my new buddy and sound and video editor extraordinaire, Dale at ProSound (electriccanyon.com). I needed to make the song (and me) sound better. I had worked with Dale before on my "Fun with Fiber" video, but that was just some editing work. So I made an appointment for some studio time, burping down the butterflies as they scurried through my guts at the thought of singing and playing guitar, an instrument I have only messed around with for a few years, in front of a professional sound guy.

But Dale immediately made me feel at ease, partly by his calm demeanor and obvious knowledge and professionalism, but also by the serene surroundings of his Electric Canyon studios. And even though I was nervous, we got some good sounds down on tape. Then we discussed what I had in mind with the video, my vision of how the images would work with the song, and we went from there. The result is the version of "Pick One" that you see below. I would like to publicly thank Dale for his enormous efforts and patience and kindness during this ardours undertaking. As well for his tremendous talents at making a guy like me sound better than he could have imagined. Thanks, Dale.

Also, during the time while Dale and I were putting the finishing touches on "Pick One," I decided to tear down my website and redo a good chunk of it. The end result is more user-friendly, easier on the eye, and exactly what I was looking for when I undertook this massive remodeling. It could not have been done--in less than a week and with no site downtime!--without the enormous efforts of my pals, Eric at Multi Media Information (ememi.com) and Keith at Webxpertz. They did in days what most would have taken weeks to accomplish. Amazing job, guys, thanks. Especially Eric. He also was a great help with the "Pick One" video and is a valuable contributor to my website livelife365.com. Gracias, mi amigo.

So, that's the story behind "Pick One (the music video)". All that remains is that all of you watch and enjoy it. And if you like it as much as I hope you will, then, please, spread the word for others to watch, laugh, learn, and help me to decide which one to pick. Pick One? Are you nuts?

peace,
Mike